Matariki is a special time for year that celebrates and welcomes new year beginnings, while also being a time of remembrance for loved ones who have passed in the past year to be honoured and remembered.
It can be a bittersweet time; but some comfort can be found in little rituals, creating tangible living memories in honour of our loved ones, and find connection to the greatness of the stars and beyond.
Here are some ideas that can be helpful during this time of grief during Matariki.
1) STAR OF REMEMBRANCE – PŌHUTUKAWA
The Matariki star of remembrance refers to Pōhutukawa, a sacred star within the Matariki (Pleiades) cluster. In Māori astronomy, it is intimately connected to those who have passed away over the past year, carrying their spirits into the afterlife and acting as a symbol of remembrance.
In mid-winter, when Matariki appears on the eastern horizon dawn sky, Pōhutukawa invites us to look upon this star in reflection and honor the memories of loved ones who have passed.
2) DISPLAY PHOTOGRAPHS
Place a photograph of your loved one in a special area of your home, light a candle nearby, place flowers, crystals, of harakeke stars nearby, celebrating their life, remembering them at Matariki.
3) PLANT A TREE
The basic, simple, and probably the best alternative to commemorating someone or something is by planting a tree on behalf of the person/thing. Choose a native plant is best, or a tree or plant that flowers at certain time of year around the time of Matariki or the loved ones anniversary.
Or plant flowers, or a plant n a pot. As you watch the plants change through the season, or come up again on their own, you have a beautiful link to nature and a ongoing reminder connecting you to your loved one.
4) LIGHT A CANDLE
Buying a beautiful candle that can be lit year after year on a day of remembrance is a lovely acknowledgement to a loved one.
We also love the ritual of rolling our own candles every Matariki, each memeber of the whanau making a candle to light in memory in this winter season.
5) SCATTER NATURAL CONFETTI
Instead of plastic confetti that you can buy from stores. Instead, make your own natural confetti from dry leaves, birdseed, or flower petals. You can use a hole punch to make confetti shapes, collect and store in a dry container.
Blow or throw confetti as you offer with your wishes, respects, or memories.
View this star shaped hole punch >>
6) GIFT OR PLANT FORGET-ME-NOTS
This flowers name says it all. Gift a plant or forget-me-not seeds to someone who is bereaved.
Each time they pass these flowers, or even see them out in nature, it will remind them, or you, of your loved one.
Shop seeds: These forget-me-not seeds come with a special card >>
7) RISE AT DAWN TO GREET MATARIKI
Spend time under the starry skies. Speak to you loved ones. Speak the names of those who have passed.
Traditionally in June or July when Matariki returns to the dawn sky we rise early to view. When the star cluster is viewed for the first time, speak the names of the loved ones who have passed during the year, releasing them to the stars.
You can do this with a special ceremony or your own whanau ritual. Perhaps preparing hot kai or a hot cuppa, let the steam rise up as an offering.
8) MAKE HARAKEKE STARS
Make some harakeke stars to gift to someone who is grieving their loved one, or make some for yourself, keeping them in a special place with a photograph, candle, crystal or special items. It is lovely to return them to Papatūānuku with blessing at the end of the season, to enable you to make another each Matariki or anniversary of their passing.
9) LISTEN TO WAIATA
Music is a powerful healer. It can express emotions we can quite find the words for. It can release sadness, find connection and blessing amongst grief. Sing, or listen to music that reminds you of your loved ones.
Some meaningful waiata that we love include:
– Purea nei
– Whakaria mai
– The Promise, by Tracey Chapman
– Amen Omen, by Ben Harper
10) WRITE A LETTER TO YOUR LOVED ONE
Writing to your loved one can be a healing act, can make you feel close to them. It can be emotional thing to do, but is a beautiful act of remembrance, and also, an act of healing, allowing all emotions to be present, alongside loving memories.
You can also do this in a journal, keeping memories of them in a special place.
11) WALK IN NATURE SPACES
Are there any places that remind you of your loved one? Spend time there through Matariki, or near their anniversary.
Spending time outdoors in the forest or near the ocean invites us to contemplate how all things are connected – in the forest, decomposing trees support new life; while the vast horizon of the ocean can make us feel we are part of something much greater.
These connections can bring our hearts closer to our loved ones who have passed. We can walk and think of them, even speak to them. Nature is a great healer.
12) REMEMBRANCE WISH PAPER
This is how it works: you write your wish on special, prepared paper, then light it on fire and watch it fly up, burn away and float back down to your hand. Equally as meaningful as a balloon release, or flying wish lanterns without the damaging impact on our environment and wildlife.
You can buy ready made kits or make your own.
13) MAKE A STAR MOBILE
Cut out star shapes on card, write messages, paste photos, or note memories of your loved ones. Hang these special stars from thread, hang from a stick and display as a mobile in a special spot.
14) BUBBLES IN THE SKY
Letting off balloons or Sky Lanterns can be moving, but has effect on our environment such as tangling birds and killing sea life.
Bubbles don’t leave any environmental impact of balloons, but retain the floaty element as they lift to the heavens with our wishes and memories.
You can buy bubble mix, or make your own chemical free version.
15) CREATIVE FAMILY TRADITIONS
We have made Matariki crafts ever since the kids were little. We decorate our whare in celebration and in reverence. We choose to do this with recyclable or natural materials so we can return these to the earth once the season finishes, and allow us re-make them each Matariki, bringing in a sense of celebration and acts of remembrance. This could be making stars or lanterns or flying kites that reach up to the sky.
16) CONNECT WITH, OR PLANT KAWAKAWA
Kawakawa is a special plant to Maori and many who live in Aotearoa NZ.
Kawakawa was used with karakia in special ceremonies, at tangi’s / funerals, and worn as a wreath around the bereaved persons head.
It is said that when the world was created, Kawakawa was a gift to Ranginui / Sky Father and Papatuanuku / Earth Mother to heal them as they were pushed apart to make space for the light in between them. Because of this gift, Kawakawa is said to contain all the healing properties of all the native plants.
This rakau / plant is infused with meaning and medicinal and energetic healing properties. It is a special plant to consider planting at the time of Matariki, in memory of a loved one.
I hope this list inspires some special activities and rituals for your whānau, as you remember your loved ones. Gone but not forgotten.
I’m sorry that you have had to say goodbye. My heart knows too well the heaviness and reverence of this time. I wish you sacred, meaningful moments as you remember your loved ones.
Aroha from my heart to yours.
Tina x
If you want to learn more of our story, you can read
“A goodbye gifted Matariki to me”.
More you may like to read:
A STORY OF MATARIKI AND GRIEF – A goodbye brought Matariki to me – this is my story of Matariki and grief, shared for other hearts who have lost too.
MATARIKI CELEBRATION IDEAS – Here are some Matariki celebration ideas – many ways to create meaning and tradition with tamariki and whānau.
MATARIKI CRAFTS FOR KIDS – These Matariki crafts can be a lovely inclusion in your Matariki celebrations, we speak of loved ones as our hands are busy, bringing memories and lasting traditions to whānau.
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